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It's Time To Find Your Voice Again!

Today was different. I cried.

I didn't cry because I was depressed, I didn't cry because of the overwhelming feeling of being so young with so much responsibility, and  not because of so much resentment and lingering pain.

I cried because my life matters too. I cried because  today would be the first day of the rest of my life. And in the moment of tears, I realized my life is bigger than me.

We go through so much as women. We try to make ourselves feel whole by putting our happiness in the hands of others.

Our children..
Our spouses..
Our parents..
Our spiritual leaders..

But who do we turn to when the world says we are to be second? Who do we talk to when we feel like we can no longer pray and hope for positive change in our circumstances.

It's time to say enough is ENOUGH!

I got to a point in my life where it was time to put me first. How could I nurture my children when I didn't even want to live?

I spent so many days and nights crying because I felt my life was…
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Dear Lindsey,...*an open letter to myself*

Look at yourself...

What have you done to us? The last time I wrote to you was probably in high school. You graduated, you lived, and you finally learned. You always bring us back to the days of 2010. I'm assuming that is because you feel like those days were the start of your life in good and bad ways. You had Londen and you made it a priority to "stunt"...but for all the wrong reasons.

Sure, you wanted to prove to everyone and yourself that you are capable of making big moves and handling those moves with minimal help and...quite frankly you did! But something was missing. That something you gave to someone else. That something that was strong enough to make mountains move. That something that the one who gained it all from you, wasn't delicate enough...patient enough...wise enough...and strong enough to see you needed it back.

That Something Is Love.

I've watched, heard, and felt your cries. I've listened to you scream and belt out in song for love. I'…

The Only Inevitable Change Is Direction

I bet you’re wondering where I’ve been…😏
Well, I got a passport! Not the passport you are thinking of though. 

Through a family member I was able to get a 2000 Honda passport. I received it the week of finals, just in time to let my hair down for winter break! The license plate said 721 BYE so of course it was extremely symbolic to me. In the year 2000 I was in the 5th grade. My elementary school stopped at grade 5 so that was the year all of my leadership skills came into play. I was captain of the cheerleading squad, student council president, student of the year,…I literally excelled in EVERYTHING I touched. I was 10 years old when the school year started and turned 11 that December. I said bye to 10 (721). Crazy right?
Well not only was the plate significant but the car itself was too. I was given a passport to travel. While I had set these major plans to change myself for the better I actually found myself traveling through time and spiritual realms. 
I went back to t…

28 years changing in 28 days

I shut down when things get to be cluttering mentally. I shut down from everything and everyone. My emotions get the best of me and all of my goals seem too far fetched, I lose sight of what is at risk and climb into this ball of silence. I have alot to say but I can’t express.
So now here I am once again pushing myself to break this bad cycle. I start something, and then I stop. I go in with full force and something along the way just drains all of that energy, In the end, I get left with all kinds of incompletes. I was supposed to get back to my workout routine weeks ago. I was supposed to be updating this blog days ago…smh.
I think that’s what makes me so proud to say that I am graduating next semester, While it is just two Associate degrees, it is my statement to myself that I FINISHED! 
This semester was extremely trying to say the least, I lost alot of myself and by the strength of God, I am slowly gaining me back. My classmates always ask how the hell do I manage to handle all…